Day 18: The first hard day.

Day 18

Weight 306
Struggles: I haven't talked about the struggles yet because quite frankly there have not been, bar the Hell Days...today was a struggle.  I have cooked for my kids and even my wife since the fast has started, no problem.  I have sat in the room with others eating, no problem.  Today though it has been bad.  Let's go backwards a day and start there.  
Yesterday was the first time in a grocery store for me in a while.
I don't frequent them first of all but now they seemed like they would be a problem and boy was it.  I LOVE food. Walking the isles of the mart with wals killed me.  I was pissed buy the time we left and could not get all the flavors of even simple things like olives out of my head.  I was there because i was getting supplies for a catering at church today, start struggle #2.

 I prepared two massive lasagnas, prepped for Caesar salad so on and so forth.  Today i cooked and served food to over 60 people by the time it was over i was going insane, i went to the kitchen and scrubbed dishes just to get away.  I know that in 42 day or even tomorrow this will (can) be over but i believe that this exposes the true struggle, I LOVE food.  This is why an exit strategy is probably the most important part of this whole thing.  I will be talking more in the next couple of weeks about it.  If i go back to my old lifestyle and old eating habit this will all be for not.  OH! I don't know if you noticed i am 3lbs away from 40lbs!  That makes it worth it and the time that has already been given back to my family, well worth it. Peace.